DWT Manchester: Rihanna Stan

I'm so irritated right now! Completely besides myself, want to know why? It's simple really. Because I feel like blogging!! You're probably thinking "So do it then, what's the big deal?" but the big deal is this. I have a specific set of pictures that I am very keen on sharing with you which I took with my proper camera after a couple of photo walks with friends, but then I got home and got ready to transfer the pictures to my laptop, it was then I realised I had two major setbacks. One, my camera USB cable seems to have disappeared on me, I've never transferred pictures off it before so I'm not even sure there was a USB in the box but that seems like a ridiculous notion! So I switched to plan B; get the memory card and just put it straight into my computer, thwarted again! There is NO memory card reader slot on my laptop!

Can you see how this would be very frustrating? Now until I either buy a USB cable or find a way to connect a memory card reader to my laptop then I'm stuck with no pictures! :(

Do not despair though for I have a back up plan! Today we can broach one of my favourite topics... Rihanna!! :)

For those of you who don't know, I am a proud Stan! There is nothing else to say about it other than it is true and I will admit it again unashamedly any day, anytime. I don't really understand what there is to hate about her, I can understand feeling indifferent though. I'm indifferent about a lot of things, but Rihanna is not one of them! She's young, she's beautiful and she's rich! Haha. She also lives her life the way she wants too and though she's a bit extra sometimes, like the stan I am, I forgive her for her muchness and blame it on the fact that she was a star from such a young age! Almost 10 years now to be precise.

So as I have now confessed where I stand maybe you will understand this post a bit more! You see, last month I went to the Diamonds World Tour in the MEN Arena! Whoop whoop! It was my second time in the arena, but my first time in the standing area. The decision to go to the show was extremely whimsical, I think I got my tickets the night before or something because I decided I couldn't let her pass right through my city and not see her! So at about 4pm, Tomz and I got ready to start the entire process that will eventually see us to the front and centre of the stage!

We got dressed and ready to hit the road.

I have no idea what she's wearing and I didn't think to ask as this was never meant to be an outfit post! But I'm wearing TopShop from head to toe, lol, except my shoes which are Nike Blazers and my belt by Ferragamo.

As we got closer to the arena you could really start to feel the buzz, there were people giving out some pretty awesome stick on tattoos which were actually infused with the scent of her new fragrance Nude. I loved the concept! Rih and all her tatts, I was completely unadventurous though and simply stuck it on my hand! Lol.

After a lot of standing around and waiting patiently with palpable excitement (approximately 4 hours worth!) the show finally started! Whooooop! She was opened for by 2 DJ's who together make up a group called GTA (i forget what it stands for) and they were awesome! For the first twenty minutes anyways.

You see I'm pretty sure that whenever you are waiting for your favourite artist to come and rock the stage, nothing is more annoying than some DJ's playing the same type of music over and over again! I don't even know what the genre would be called but I guess their tagline is in fact 'death to genres' sadly it was still all one genre all house/dubstep/electro/drum and bass like. I was quite disappointed and very very tired from standing for hours now but I still managed to keep my smile, somewhat.

And then fiiiiiinally! At about 9.30, the queen Rih finally comes unto stage and it was pretty crazy from there! Most of the night from this point is a bit of a blur, I was so high off her energy and loving every single song she performed singing and dancing around like crazy! Unfortunately (or fortunately) the arena was packed! Stadium Status baby! So there was no room to take some action shots of Tomz and I dancing, there was plenty of room to take pictures of Rih though and she looked amazing! Here are shots of her outfits from the night, she changed so many times!

This is by far my favourite outfit of her! She looks like Iron Man's long lost girlfriend, I loved it!

Literally flawless is she not? And I was so up close to the stage as well! It was amazing, what would have made it even more Rihdiculous would have been if I got to touch her when she came down to the crowd! Unfortunately I was about 1 person too far away from her! Boohoo :( All in all even though her vocals could do with some work she's a pretty amazing performer! "Where have you been" "Cockiness" "Diamonds" and "Rockstar 101" were amongst my favourite performances! She's coming back to Manchester again on Tuesday and I'm trying to decide if I want to see her again, I so would if I can convince just one person of her awesomeness and get them to shell out the cash. But for now it's peace out b*tches! (It wouldn't be a complete Rihanna post if I wasn't profane at least once! lol)

Reni x

Plantain Party! (For Cool Kids Only!)

After the sad news I got on Wednesday I was thinking of ways to lift my mood when all of a sudden, the idea of a plantain party popped into my head! I thought I'd also lift the mood here a little too so the tribute post isn't the first thing everyone sees when they visit! The party was fabulous, oh my goodness, does anyone else share my infinite love for plantain? I honestly believe it is the best food on the entire planet! Second to none. For those of you who might not know plantain is pretty much a type of banana, but it's usually bigger and less sweet and needs to be cooked. And this is what I spent my Thursday evening doing, cooking plantain in as many different ways as I could think.

I had them lightly salted and fried:

Peel and chop the plantain into little circles, sprinkle some salt and shake them all together, then fry in vegetable oil on medium-high heat turning once till they are a lovely golden brown. 

Some rather unfortunate burnt ones, but they still taste yum!

Seasoned and grilled:

Peel and chop the plantain, get your spice mix (mine was cayenne pepper and Aromat multi purpose seasoning) Place on a foiled covered oven tray and grill at about 200 till they are golden brown. I didn't put oil on the foil because I didn't feel like it but you certainly can. Also, allow them to cool down before trying to take them off the foil!

I have a feeling if these were cut a little thinner  and cooked a little longer they'd make really good plantain chips!

And Sugared!!:

By far the worst but most delicious of all the recipes! I think this recipe is quite common in Latin/South America and they usually use really ripe almost completely black plantain but I didn't have any so I just used regular ripe ones. Peel and chop the plantain, fry in 2 tablespoons of butter, when golden on one side, flip them and add a mixture of 2 tbsps brown sugar and 1 tbsp ground cinnamon, continue cooking till the sugar just caramelizes. This is DIVINE! But just looking at the recipe again is making me feel sick with sugar overload, it was great for satisfying the sugar craving I've been experiencing of late though! Loved it! Oh this is also one of the reasons for that detox I spoke about earlier!

All that brown goodness is cinnamon and caramelised sugar! I burnt myself with this one, was waaaay too eager to try it! I even almost forgot to take a picture so this plate has been about half eaten!

When I was making the sweet plantain, the bf remarked that it smelt like some food he eats back at home called kelewele (pronounced kay-lay-way-lay), so of course I googled the recipe for that to add it on to my list! This particular version didn't turn out too good, it just tasted like plantain seasoned with ginger! It didn't really look any different either so I didn't bother with a picture. So now I'm searching for the perfect kelewele recipe to add to my list of things to do with plantain! You can also boil them, boiled plantain and Efo Riro (spinach stew, not sure how else to describe it!) is the food of kings! And you can roast them to make Boli too, I've tried doing this before but it just didn't have the same taste as the ones you buy from the women on the streets of Lagos!

Several plantains later (between the two of us!) I was full and ready to sleep! Unfortunately it was time for pole dancing!! Lifting my body weight yesterday was something of a chore but I managed it and even felt strong enough to let go of the pole while sitting on it! The instructor was impressed! :) If I had to pick only one food to eat for the rest of my life, best believe it would be plantain! Speaking of, I think I have some plantain chips waiting to be munched on in my kitchen! *happy dance*

Bye for now,

Reni x

Larger than Life: My Very Own Warrior Angel

Today was just one of those days for me... Not the good kind where you're unnecessarily jovial for no apparent reason, the other kind; where you're just a bit blue. Well I'm more than a bit blue and I'm not quite sure what I'm even doing here but I know that writing has always been the best outlet for me, I'm not much of a talker tbh so throughout today when people have been calling and texting to wish my family and I their condolences I've been at a complete loss of what to say except a measly "thank you". It's not that I don't care for condolences, I do... I think my mind is just still in a state of shock, first I heard but didn't quite understand, then I understood but didn't quite believe and now that no-one has called my phone to say "gotcha!" and the day is almost over I think that maybe it's true? But it can't be.

My grandfather can't be... gone. It's weird I still haven't been able to say it out loud, I can scream it out loud in my head but whenever I have to talk about it I'd rather say "about grandpa and stuff..." I've done my fair share of crying and wailing and asking why it had to happen this way but I'm trying to realise that although he's not physically here, nothing can touch the memories I was so so fortunate to create with him, . So this post isn't about mourning and loss, it's a mini toast to my Gramps, a celebration of a life well lived! Here's just a few of the things I will never forget about my very own Warrior Angel in Heaven (because he is way too full of energy to be just a guardian)

1. The way he loved all of his grandchildren and we loved him even more, he always taught us that family was the most important thing, second to nothing! 

2. Going to his house in Ondo almost every year for his birthday and having a 3-5 day party. No one could throw a party like my Gramps! Asun for days!

3. The way he called all of us by our first and last names every time he saw us, kind of instilling pride into us. He always said a good name was the most important thing anyone could have.

4. The way he was so proud of me for going to University of Manchester because my mum went there too and so did he. Almost every time I spoke to him he would say "Have you told them that you are third generation at Manchester yet? I'm sure not many people can claim that!" No they can't Gramps, no they can't.

5. Him getting cable tv and internet in his house so whenever we, the grand kids, came over to play we weren't bored.

6. Going on a massive family holiday to Spain with him when I was probably about 7/8, it was the most amazing villa ever. Barbados was meat to be next, but now we have Heaven instead which I'm sure is infinitely better!

7. His velvet slippers. Yup, gramps was rocking the velvet WAY before it was cool!

8. All his traditional necklaces, bejewelled walking sticks and embroided caps, dressing up was so much fun at his place!

9. His love for life... I've never met another person so exuberant and who had as much confidence as he did, so full of passion and a real lust for life and adventure. A perfect role model to me and everyone else.

As difficult as this is, it's time for me to wipe away my tears, or at least have less of them anyways. You would have never wanted it to be this way, I love you Grandpa and I won't ever stop missing you. Rest in Peace.

Grandpa, Grandma and all the cousins in 2009. Thank you for making us take another family portrait this Christmas, it's a shame I can't find it right now.

People Appreciation Day!

“Babe can you imagine this boy! He didn’t even get me the Brazilian hair or anything. All I ended up getting were flowers; I’m so pissed off. Who has time for flowers that are going to die by tomorrow? What about some jewelry? NOTHING. He’s so annoying.” This is going to be some variation of the conversation that about 70% of girls worldwide would be having with their best friend on this special day of love! I’m not cynical or anything, quite the contrary actually; I’m the soppiest, sappiest romantic on the planet. I love the thought of cards with beautiful poetry written in it, and a bracelet I’d wear for the rest of our relationship as some sort of token of our love, even flowers that he claims are nowhere near as beautiful as me. The full works! After all it’s only Valentine’s Day once a year! Why shouldn’t I be spoilt as hell and treated like a princess?

The answer is quite simple actually, because it’s just a day! Like any other day. It’s just a Thursday, and while society has ingrained it in our minds to be a “day of love” the truth is lots of couples end up fighting because they place way too much emphasis on making it ‘perfect’. Especially the girls! One of my male friends once said to me that he never vals anyone because the pressure is too much; by the time she compares your own ‘small, heartfelt’ gift to the sparkles and champagne that Bolanle is flaunting on Instagram or that Fikayo is showcasing on Facebook you feel like you might as well have not done anything in the first place. But nothing is perfect; love is about loving an imperfect person perfectly right? Or so we all claim when we are feeling sentimental, so what’s the fuss? Let your ‘imperfect’ partner be themselves perfectly and if you know your guy is not the romantic type then don’t expect him to suddenly flip and turn into your Majid Michel and be all lovey-dovey, accept whatever he decides to get you with grace and genuinely love it because you know it’s bigger than the gifts and cards.

This is not to say that guys have an excuse not to try oh! All of una busy “losing your phone” “falling ill” and other various excuses to drop off the face of the earth on top Vals day.” Una well done! God has seen you! Would it really take that much effort to let your girl know she’s special? Saka swine! Girl, if your man has mysteriously ‘disappeared’ sad to say but I doubt he was ever really yours. To all the REAL dudes out there who make an effort every day and also today, God go make you bigger! Even if your girl forgets to say it everyday, she loves and appreciates you J well I hope she does anyways. Lol.

I think every day should be Valentine’s Day, the world would be such a happy place and there would be far less pressure. Maybe we should rename it People Appreciation Day and just remind all the people all around us that we love them. Why restrict it? After all, sharing is caring. Haha.  To the people in love, I hope you have an amazing day with your significant others. To those angry or upset with the ones they love, heck you might as well forgive them. And to the people on Team Single #foreveralone #singleawarenessday #phuckyolove then don’t be bitter. Valentine’s Day isn’t only for the lovers out there! Remember it’s peoples’s appreciation day! I’d even be your Val if you want to go that far! As long as you send me those Loubs by midnight, hehe.

Lots of love,

Reni x

P.S: This post got featured on another website, Dindindara. You can check out the post and website here. 

In Love With Two

Hey hey hey!

I apologise for the current ever-changing state of the blog, trying to find a perfect new look for 2013 :) Please bear with me while I experiment with colour schemes, dynamics and so on until I think I love it again! Also like my Facebook Page! Anyways, moving swiftly on to today’s topic!

Can you be in love with two people at the same time? This is something that I’ve ALWAYS wondered about! Is it truly truly possible to be completely in love with two people simultaneously? For once this topic doesn’t even stem from my love for Rihanna and Chris Brown (who are apparently off again **boooooo**), it’s just something that always seems to pop up in conversations every now and then and I realised that I haven’t ever posted about it. I asked a couple of people about it and I got the usual answers about how there’s a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, which I completely agree with! But this post is not about the differences between those!

People have dedicated whole songs to trying to figure out how to live when in love with two people (Usher-What’s A Man To Do) and some people have even released silly videos on the interweb which caused one of their significant others to dump their ass! (Breezaay). There’s even my favourite series at the moment; Vampire Diaries, where Elena has been in love with both Stefan and Damon separately and together, they’ve both represented different things to her, Stefan always being the safer option while Damon is the daredevil bad boy that every girl secretly wishes they could tame. And while I’m unhappy that she’s straying from the plot in my mind and trying to please all the Delena fans, it makes me wonder why no one has ever questioned whether she ever truly loved Stefan but when it happens in real life, people always jump to the conclusion of “you obviously were never in love with the first one”.

The movie Scavengers put being in love with two people in a whole new perspective. Blake Lively’s character claims to be in love with two guys who happen to be best friends, not in a destructive way to them though, they also both love her. But anyways, the way she describes it is that one of them has a softer side, he ‘makes love’ to her, he’s more passionate, more in tune with his feelings, let’s call him Water. The other is hard, he’s not as in touch with his feelings I guess and he definitely doesn’t ‘make love’ to her, her body experiences a whole new set of feelings. Obviously he’s Fire.

Throughout the movie she doesn’t show preference to any of them, she’s equally distressed when either of them are in danger, she doesn’t sleep with one more frequently, in fact they often have coitus in threes. One might argue that she isn’t in love with either of them and that what she feels for them is just lust but for arguments sake, let’s say she is actually in love with them both. She feels no form of confusion at all, she’s not conflicted in her mind on who she should love more or spend the rest of her life with. She’s just a young girl, having a blast on an island with two hot best friends. I suppose it helps that they don’t get jealous and petty over her; she’s both of theirs equally. What I’m wondering is this; is it possible for two different people to bring out two completely different sides in you but in your mind neither side is better or wrong, you love both people and both sides and can’t imagine life with only the one. And no, you do not have split personality disorder! Is it possible to have Water and Fire coexist?

I think it is, if not how on earth did Adele set fire to the rain?! I’m not trying to say I can define what being in love with two people is but I do think it’s possible! I mean why the hell not?? Who is always creating all these plenty rules that we must abide by. Sure it’s probably confusing and leads to a lot of heartbreak and a lot of pain, but if you know you can’t handle it then don’t entertain the thoughts of having two people in your life at the same time, flee from temptation! Let your heart heal before inviting someone else to fill a gaping hole that was left by your last love. If you end up living happily ever after, that’s great, if not... Well, all’s fair in love and war.

Adios!

Unrequited Love

Today has definitely established itself as a duvet day in my books, it’s 2.30 on a Sunday afternoon and I’m still in bed, I’m starving but have neither the strength nor the will to get up and make myself something to eat. I just want to lay here all day and watch episode after episode of crappy TV show. Then I started thinking about how I have exams and really want to do well and why I even chose this masters programme and wondering what plans God has for me. I can only pray I’m on the right track. Then for some reason my mind wondered to the theme of unrequited love. Random you might think but it really isn’t so random. For instance, the love I have for chemical engineering is infinite even though it constantly makes me lose sleep, get stressed out and sometimes makes me borderline depressed! I would also love to work for an international oil company so I shall keep applying until someone says YES!

Anyways my mind quickly left the thoughts of chem eng and I started thinking of unrequited love in more of the ‘usual’ sense of the phrase. Take for example this relationship. This guy Seye has pretty much been in love with some girl Tami for the better part of his university career. He openly displays his affection for her through every possible avenue, he’s always there for her in times of need, and heck to all their friends; the two are basically together. Just one little problem. They’re not. Tami likes him, she thinks he’s kind and sweet and generous but as she’s been telling him since they met, she’s just not ready for a relationship and would rather focus on school at the moment. Also, she’s not ready to be tied down to just one person at the tender age of 20. She knows that Seye likes her and exploits it to her benefit a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong Tami is not some evil bitch queen; it’s just human nature to satisfy your own needs first. So that’s how their relationship has been for the last few years, Tami taking what she needs and sometimes giving back in return and Seye constantly giving and loving and caring. Until one day after the long summer break, he finds out that Tami has a boyfriend! Now all that talk about wanting to focus on school and not being ready can be seen for the bullshit it really was. I just didn’t want to call her out before. Naturally Seye is heartbroken and depressed and gets nicknamed lonely boy.

I don’t know how many people can actually relate to what I’m saying. It is not easy to be in a position where the person you love doesn’t love you back. Rejection in life is always difficult but what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. The worst thing you can do after such an experience is become a bitter old hag and wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life (Think Miss Havisham from Great Expectations). Obviously this applies to much more than just personal relationships, everyone needs to know their own worth and realise that rejections are just a part of life. We all need to find our ‘selling point’ and not get overly frustrated when things don’t go our way. Yes it may hurt so deep down inside that we feel like we are breaking from the inside out but life goes on and allowing yourself to be sucked by darkness is not only unhealthy, but also life threatening. You are the only person who controls your happiness, so get up and start living! Make yourself the best possible version of you there can ever be so that when the opportunity does come your way, and it will, you are ready for it.

Anyways I kind of went of on a tangent there, which I apparently do a lot. My point is, when life throws you lemons. Make lemonade, and not the basic kind and some sugar to it! Even make it fizzy if you can! At least that’s what I’m going to be trying to do while I start my next wave of job applications! I’m getting ready to be the best version of me I’ve ever been.

Have a great week guys,

Morenike

P.S. I really should start putting these posts up on the intended day! 

Smile More!

*sigh* last time I checked it was the beginning of a new term and I was coming of age! I never understand how time flies so quickly once school starts. This last week has been particularly stressful but now that all that is over and in the hands of the Most High life can go on! Three weeks ago (seriously someone tell me, where does the time go??) I got a comment on my blog that made me want to write again I remember seeing it in passing but I read it properly a few days ago and promised myself that after my final deadline today I’d write a blog post but then the universe seemed to have alternate plans for me. You see, I’m exhausted! Three deadlines in one week is no joke! I’ve spent so much time staring at computer screens and typing that the thought of doing the same thing in the name of blogging seemed revolting! But still I persevered, I must write a blog post today!

So I thought to myself, I’d write a post on the train to Edinburgh before I see my beloved Kokiroks. Now I’m not trying to be boujis or anything but everyone who has ever been on a Virgin Train knows that no other train line can EVER match up! So here I am, already disappointed that Virgin Trains don’t go to Edinburgh, I decided to get to the station early so I can get a nice table seat with a view; I don’t know what I was thinking about with the view the nights have been getting longer and longer this part of the world. So the train arrives on the platform and whaddyaknow, it’s PACKED! Like a tin of sardines type of packed, think London Underground during rush hour, I can feel people breathing my oxygen and I just want to steal it back and tell the oxygen thieves to get their own! Have I mentioned that I’m starving? But guess what this train also doesn’t have? A food carriage! So boujis me is now super pissed!

Standing with my weekend bag, Rihanna’s new album blaring in my ears (Album review soon? Perhaps). The ticket inspector then proceeds to enter my carriage and request for all our tickets, remember how packed the train is? Ridiculous! What’s the point of having both the ticket barrier and then an inspector? KMT. As he approaches me I pause my music and off-handedly pass him the ticket to which he responds “Smile girl, you’re a star!” For some reason his words really did put me in a much better mood and whether that was his intention or not, it worked! It made me think of everything I had to be grateful for and the amazing relaxing weekend I was about to enjoy with one of my bestos. After about an hour the train has freed up and I’ve got a seat, table even! So here I am, blogging away, just like I planned!

I guess what I’m trying to say is we should all be thankful in any situation, it could almost always be worse. So thank you Kiki, Kokiroks and the Ticket Inspector for brightening up my day!

Give More, Love More, Smile More J (What wold you say if I told you the former two were common Zimbabwean names? Google it! LOL).

Love,

Morenike

P.S. Procrastination should be the 8th deadly sin.. I wrote this post over a week ago! Anyways, here are some pictures from Edinburgh, as usual I forgot my actual camera so had to make do with my iPhone 4 shitty camera! :)

Edinburgh Castle, it looks so much better in real life!

They have so many steps they even give them names.. It was quite the work out I must say!

Almost every building has this archaic/daunting/horror movie feel to it! Quite different from the bright lights of Manchester!

Definitely a scene from Harry Potter!!

Red Skies

One of my more recent poems, would really appreciate some feedback so leave some comments please! :) 

Red skies at night, sailors delight;

Thoughts of azure mornings,

Stretching for thousands of miles.

In his eyes I see love, desire and pleasure

Sure as the days promised light,

Nothing can spoil this,

In him, is the rest of me.

Red skies in the morning, sailors warning;

Clouds, dark and roaring take over the skies.

What has become of my lovers tongue?

Should he spew venom alone?

Of lust, anger and debauchery?

Whatever happened to his warm eyes?

I do not recognize him.

Tonight my sky is starless,

Charcoal as the demon,

That painted it so.

My heart is restless,

It beats an unsteady rhythm like the lips of my lover;

One moment cursing,

And the other caressing.

Oh how I long for the dusk to come,

Where I shall reunite with my scarlet knight.

Staying Single: Part 8- In Love with S

Part1: I Will Be Single! Will I?

Part2: Poor little Sola Boy

Part3: Return of the Mac or umm, the Ex?

Part4: Pure Carnal Lust

Part5: All Hail the Queen of Awkward Moments

Part 5.5: A Suitor, A Disciple & A Sola

Part 6: Cut Your Cloth

Part 7: The Number One Suitor

After the party is over and everyone has gone home, The Girls were all in Stephanie’s room talking about the gist from the night. Of all the not-so-shocking revelations such as Remy spending the whole time glued to Jide, the most shocking was the following:

Remy: So guys, everyone has casted themselves except Nkechi, are we really going to let this slide?

Steph: That’s true oh, where were you? You were ghost through almost the whole thing.

Nkechi: Hmm, you guys need to stop asking too many questions, I told you I was busy.

Remy: Busy doing what? Girl, it’s either you tell or you sleep in the corridor tonight! **laughing**

Kemi: I agree oh, spill the beans

Nkechi: Well if you must know I was just getting to know a certain Sholly-boy better.

Steph: Hahaha, you were with Sola?!

Kemi: Wait, which Sola? Sola Akinlaja??

Nkechi: Ahh, yes now. Which other Sola! And I must say, he knows how to get down if you know what I mean **laughs**

Remy: You you’re just a hooker, I’m tired please I’m going to sleep.

Kemi: Hmmm, Sola.

Steph: Ah babe what’s your issue?

Kemi: Oh nothing, it’s just funny that’s all.

Nkechi: I mean to be honest I don’t like the guy; he’s a bit young for me. He’s cute though! I know you guys are bestos but you’re cool right?

Steph: Of course she’s cool! After the story she was just telling us about the Suitor!

Kemi: Yea exactly, I don’t like him or anything.

Remy: **coughs suspiciously** Goodnight guys.

After the lights went off and everyone was trying sleeping, Kemi lay awake thinking about Nkechi and Sola’s rendezvous, was it possible that Sola liked Nkechi? Because she knew Nkechi definitely didn’t like Sola, and if he did then why her? And how far had they gone? And again why Nkechi? Lost in her thoughts Kemi admitted to herself that the fact that the girl was Nkechi wasn’t what bothered her, it was the fact that Sola was getting with people in the first place.

Why shouldn’t he be allowed to get with other people? So what he was saying to me all that time about liking me was just bull?Sola can’t be with anyone else, that’s not fair. The jealousy in her gut was unshakeable, even as she tried to daydream of her episode with the Suitor; she kept replacing his face with Sola’s. Do I actually like this boy or am I just upset he doesn’t like me anymore? After many hours of deliberation through the night, Kemi decides that she in fact does like Sola but now that he’s trying to get close to Nkechi what is she supposed to do?

But what about the Suitor? Well he’s leaving soon so it doesn’t really matter! Once he’s gone, she can work on Sola again, she can’t directly make him fall for her; she has to do it carefully, and with this resolved in her mind, she falls asleep.

15 days later

The weeks that had passed involved Kemi seeing the Suitor as many times as she liked, they had gotten physical a few times but nothing beyond the first time. She also met up with Sola at their usual spot in Café Rouge and he confessed to having “slight feelings but nothing serious” for Nkechi. Kemi had also told Remy about her feelings for Sola.

Remy: You don’t like him, you’re just plain jealous that he’s moving on. Don’t go and do anything irrational! Nkechi is your friend!

Kemi: But she doesn’t even like him, she said so herself!

Remy: I just think you’re being selfish. This is exactly what the Ex does to you whenever you start liking someone else and it’s not nice.

Kemi: Okay fine, whatever.

But Kemi wasn’t convinced, she was sure she liked Sola, no one understood her that’s all, she would prove to everyone that they are meant to be together. The perfect opportunity finally presented itself in the form of a Tuesday night at Juju Bar, none of the Girls were there, Steph and Nkechi who had another friend’s birthday party and Remy was being a boring housewife with Jide. The music was good and the drinks were flowing. Kemi didn’t mind though, there would be quite a few friends there. Seeing Sola seated by himself in the corner, Kemi positioned herself to make sure he gets a good view and begins to gyrate in a most seductive way to the voice of some dancehall artist, she can feel Sola’s eyes on her back as she moves. The Suitor, seeing his girl dancing by herself makes his way across the dance floor and grabs her waist. Kemi slows the dancing pace and eventually stops.

Suitor: Oh, why you doing this to me?

Kemi: **looking bored** my feet hurt, these shoes are kind of tight.

Suitor: Her feet are killing her I call it her shoe-icide. Let’s go and sit for a bit.

Kemi: **glancing over at Sola she realises she has lost his interest completely,** Why did this Suitor boy have to show up at the wrongest time! Now Sola is never going to take me seriously. slightly annoyed she turns to the Suitor, she needs to get Sola’s attention again, but not right now**

PAUSE

Now I must interrupt this story here, to let you, the readers, know that Kemi is not a bad person, neither is she a slag, well not really. She does actually like the Suitor but remember he was always a short-term solution. She’s just a vain, naïve girl who wants attention and to be loved.

CONTINUE

Suitor: So I’ve been thinking of something, I want you to be my girlfriend

Kemi: Wait what? How did we get here?? But you’re all the way in America, it would never work

Suitor: I know myself; I don’t need anyone else right now. Just say you’d try at least.

Kemi: **in a small voice** I can’t.

Suitor: Why not? I thought we had something good going?

Kemi: I really like you, don’t get me wrong. But I’m in love with Sola.

In Love With Love

Hi mi darlings,

I apologise for the constant change of my blogs look, I get bored relatively easily and it seems I’ve fallen out of love with my last layout, though I may yet return to it. All my posts are still on here, the archive list is still on the right hand side, you can also now easily share my posts via Facebook or twitter if you please and there’s a handy new “follow by email” tab for people who don’t have Google accounts. So please follow and share away!

Speaking of being bored and falling out of love, why is it that some people fall in and out of love so fast they make the cars on the German Autobahn look like snails?? It sometimes amazes me how quickly some people move on, and it’s always the ones that seem like they are the most in love that never cease to surprise me! Going through their Facebook timeline you can spot a serial dater from miles away

15 June 2012: I love my baby so much, thank you Segun for making me feel all brand new.

1 February 2012: Wow! I just got flowers from the most amazing boyfriend in the world! Tomiwa it’s you and I together forever!

31 November 2011: #nowplaying Love Story- Taylor Swift. This album perfectly describes how I feel about Seun, the story of our love!

Okay fine, maybe no one writes status’ that corny on facebook (I hope) but still it’s annoying! People need to realise that there’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s not a sickness or a disease. I don’t believe I’m really about to quote this boy but as Afam said in his blog post Application of Economics: Smashed up hearts hung out to dry,you keep leaving a piece of yourself with the last person so much so that you get to a point where you’re no more than a shadow of your old self.

I’m not saying that life should always be so serious and you need to become a social recluse to get over someone. On the contrary, go out there, have the most fun you’ve had in your life but not because you know that he/she is going to see your pictures on Facebook and you think it would make them want you back. You do it because you are you and you love having a good time!

One might argue that people who move on so quickly were never really “in love” with the person in the first place. I put “in love” in quotes because I am yet to define what that common phrase actually means. Personally I think that’s only half the problem, the problem is that some people are so in love WITH LOVE that they would do anything to keep that feeling. Having someone to daydream about and to call right before you close your eyes to go to bed. All na sentiment! Which is why when the going gets tough they give up, because as far as they know, love is not meant to be like that. It’s meant to be like in the movies where the couple fights for 1 week and then the guy comes back on his shiny white horse, (topless of course, how else would you see his abs of steel??) bearing gifts of fine wine and perfumes and getting ready to wine and dine the girl back into falling “in love” with him (again, my imagination comes out to play, insufferable I tell you).

People that know me may think of me as a serial dater and I’d be honest, at some point I was and I didn’t think of it as a problem until kind of recently. I made that conscious decision not to date the next guy that told me he liked my voice (dead!) I was single for a few months and I loved it. We need to learn to love ourselves first, so that we can begin to even think of loving someone else. Relying on someone else for assurance that you are worth it and you are special is like praying that it wouldn’t rain in Manchester for 2 weeks. It never happens, and it’s is never worth it, better learn to carry that umbrella friend!

The Open Relationship Paradox

Further to my previous post The Relationship Conundrum, I got to thinking about open relationships and whether the more hedonistic of my peers really are on to something. An open relationship means that you have a “special someone” who is the acclaimed love of your life but you are not exclusive in the physical aspect of your relationship. i.e. you can eff about with whoever you want and not have to explain yourself.

As much as my first instinct is always to condemn open relationships, I can’t help think but think of couples like Will & Jada and other unmentionables were I’ve seen it (sort of) work!

In the case of the Smith’s, Will said, “Our perspective is, you don’t avoid what’s natural. You’re going to be attracted to other people.” But isn’t that the entire difference between human beings and other animals of lower intellect? Yes you can be attracted to other people, there are always going to be people hotter than your boyfriend and sexier than your girlfriend but what’s wrong with the “Look but don’t touch” approach? God did not give us dominion over them so that we can stay acting like rabbits!

Don’t get me wrong I adore Will & Jada, they’re my second favourite Hollywood couple right after Jigga & Bey! But surely one must wonder, is it ever truly possible for you to completely separate the emotional and physical aspects of love and freely give one to one person and share the other half with multiple others?  Is love truly cursed by monogamy? in the famous words of Kanye West. Click here if you don't know what song I'm on about!

I don’t know, id be honest I’m a bit more traditional in my approach, I just don’t have the heart to know that the person whom I hold most dear to my heart is in some other girls bed for the weekend, sounds to me like a whole lot of pain and not much gain. Out of deference to his love for me, any individual I decide to invest my time in better be willing to allow some things, you know.

Jasmine Mans - Alysia Harris

So I was just doing my usual internet browsing and I came across this blog, one of the posts was on these amazing women who do spoken word/ poetry and I've been hooked ever since, you guys seriously should listen to this, sooo sooo moving!

 

Dear Ex- Lover by Jasmine is another of my favourites! <3 <3 <3

Burning Emotion

Okay so a couple of days ago I went to see Daley, an R&B-ish singer, live in Manchester and he was AH-MAH-ZING I must say! (Download his mix tape “Those Who Wait” for free and give him a chance.)

Anyways, his lyrics always ring so true to me but this inspired me to write a short story:

“We spend emotion, it’s the currency that we burn to get love in return.”

I don’t really know what it’s about yet tbh but read on and we’d both find out soon enough!

Angela was 16 when she met Chris, the dashing young entrepreneur. It all started at her father’s office, he was the CEO of a multinational company based in Abuja. She stopped by everyday after school to bring him lunch and tell him all about her day, they were close like that. Her mother passed away when she was 12. Cancer. Devastating to their entire family. Her dad had always been her whole life, and she was his.

His smell hit her first, that heady feeling you get from a mixture of cologne and cigarettes caused her to turn around, wondering where it came from. Next she heard the footsteps on the hardwood floor, they were brisk, long strides, like an army official. She did love men in uniform. She was already fantasising about what he would look like. Her dad was speaking, saying something about a meeting and getting home a bit later from work tonight but she wasn’t really listening. It was then she saw him as he entered her father’s office. Tall, dark and looking so goddam sharp in his tailored suit. Yea, no. Men in suits were far more dashing than men in uniform. Fixated on his face, she didn’t even notice her father introduce them. “Angela, this is Chris, the newest member of my team. He’s just graduated from University of Jos, he might have some tips for your application. I have to get to that meeting now but I’d see you at home.”

Chris was just one of those people. He had the good looks, the good grades and could persuade just about anyone to do what he wanted with his devilishly silky voice. Chasing girls had always been one of his favourite pastimes but he was growing bored of the current repertoire of girls. There was something about his boss’ daughter though, the uniform-clad girl couldn’t be any more than 18 but her body had the features of a Venetian goddess. He had seen her come in everyday at the same time for the last week and couldn’t get her out of his mind. He put on his most charming voice “Hi Angela, it’s such a pleasure to meet you” staring into her deep brown eyes. She was flustered he could tell by the way she blinked continuously when she shook his hand.

“Pleasure to meet you too Chris.”

TWO MONTHS LATER

“Get out of bed Chris, you’re going to be late.” He loved it when she got all serious and impatient. It was July and the schools had broken up for summer, Angela was free all the time hence the late night/early morning Skype calls, but he still had to work tirelessly. “What’s the point of dating the oga’s daughter if I can’t stroll into work whenever I feel like?” he said in his sleep-thick voice. “The point is that the ‘Oga’ does not know that you’re dating his daughter.” She always tried to say this with as much nonchalance as possible but he could hear the iota of doubt and insecurity that crept into her voice every time.

It had been Chris’ idea to keep the relationship a secret, her father would never approve of his precious angel dating a serial womanizer like him but the secrecy always made Angela feel sick. She hated lying to her dad, he was after all, her everything. If she were to know then, what she did now, she would never have agreed to the terms of this arrangement.