Unrequited Love

Today has definitely established itself as a duvet day in my books, it’s 2.30 on a Sunday afternoon and I’m still in bed, I’m starving but have neither the strength nor the will to get up and make myself something to eat. I just want to lay here all day and watch episode after episode of crappy TV show. Then I started thinking about how I have exams and really want to do well and why I even chose this masters programme and wondering what plans God has for me. I can only pray I’m on the right track. Then for some reason my mind wondered to the theme of unrequited love. Random you might think but it really isn’t so random. For instance, the love I have for chemical engineering is infinite even though it constantly makes me lose sleep, get stressed out and sometimes makes me borderline depressed! I would also love to work for an international oil company so I shall keep applying until someone says YES!

Anyways my mind quickly left the thoughts of chem eng and I started thinking of unrequited love in more of the ‘usual’ sense of the phrase. Take for example this relationship. This guy Seye has pretty much been in love with some girl Tami for the better part of his university career. He openly displays his affection for her through every possible avenue, he’s always there for her in times of need, and heck to all their friends; the two are basically together. Just one little problem. They’re not. Tami likes him, she thinks he’s kind and sweet and generous but as she’s been telling him since they met, she’s just not ready for a relationship and would rather focus on school at the moment. Also, she’s not ready to be tied down to just one person at the tender age of 20. She knows that Seye likes her and exploits it to her benefit a lot of the time. Don’t get me wrong Tami is not some evil bitch queen; it’s just human nature to satisfy your own needs first. So that’s how their relationship has been for the last few years, Tami taking what she needs and sometimes giving back in return and Seye constantly giving and loving and caring. Until one day after the long summer break, he finds out that Tami has a boyfriend! Now all that talk about wanting to focus on school and not being ready can be seen for the bullshit it really was. I just didn’t want to call her out before. Naturally Seye is heartbroken and depressed and gets nicknamed lonely boy.

I don’t know how many people can actually relate to what I’m saying. It is not easy to be in a position where the person you love doesn’t love you back. Rejection in life is always difficult but what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger. The worst thing you can do after such an experience is become a bitter old hag and wallow in self-pity for the rest of your life (Think Miss Havisham from Great Expectations). Obviously this applies to much more than just personal relationships, everyone needs to know their own worth and realise that rejections are just a part of life. We all need to find our ‘selling point’ and not get overly frustrated when things don’t go our way. Yes it may hurt so deep down inside that we feel like we are breaking from the inside out but life goes on and allowing yourself to be sucked by darkness is not only unhealthy, but also life threatening. You are the only person who controls your happiness, so get up and start living! Make yourself the best possible version of you there can ever be so that when the opportunity does come your way, and it will, you are ready for it.

Anyways I kind of went of on a tangent there, which I apparently do a lot. My point is, when life throws you lemons. Make lemonade, and not the basic kind and some sugar to it! Even make it fizzy if you can! At least that’s what I’m going to be trying to do while I start my next wave of job applications! I’m getting ready to be the best version of me I’ve ever been.

Have a great week guys,

Morenike

P.S. I really should start putting these posts up on the intended day! 

Identify Yourselves: Samantha Vs. Carrie

Samantha’s are extroverts and would walk straight up to the object of their desire and let them know their intentions.

Carrie’s are a bit shyer; they could walk up to the guy but would hardly go past a basic hi-hi conversation

Samantha’s sleep around and get off with different guys because they want to and they can

Carrie’s do it because their friends are doing it

Samantha’s take the boys to her house

Carrie’s try and find a nice romantic hotel last minute and would sometimes settle for the guy’s house, rarely hers.

Samantha’s kick the guy out of bed at the first sight of daylight with money for a coffee on the way home

Carrie’s get up and put on his shirt while making him an omelette for breakfast.

Samantha’s never even got the guys phone number; in fact she doesn’t remember his name!

Carrie’s store their numbers in the guys phone and tell him to call her when he gets home.

Samantha’s can get with the same guy on another random night or a different guy every few nights.

Carrie’s feel a sense of attachment to their latest partners and try to wait as long as possible before they go searching for someone new.

You can never tie a Samantha down, unless she let’s you.

Carrie’s are all too willing to become your girlfriend; if you give her the chance she’d be meeting your mum before the holidays run out.

Samantha’s know they are sexy and make sure that everyone else in the room knows it too.

Carrie’s are just as sexy but more likely to wait to be noticed.

Samantha’s aren’t afraid of a little experimentation.

Carrie’s prefer the more PG things of life.

Samantha’s are go-getters all the way.

Carrie’s like to be chased and wooed.

Although let’s remember, both Samantha’s and Carrie’s can get hurt, sadly no one is immune to that. So decide for yourselves ladies, are you a Samantha or a Carrie? Be honest! What do you think of my list? Did I miss anything major out? Share your thoughts in the comment box J

Amen

Also I’ve been doing some writing! Decided to share with you a little bit of something something I’ve been working on. I don’t really know what to call this piece, it’s not really a poem but kind of is.. you know.. one of ‘those’ here goes:

 Amen

As usual I crawl into bed after daddy’s gone to work,

Lying there together you say a quick prayer for me,

You always want nothing but the best for me.

But this morning you sense something is different,

The “Amen’s” are coarser, quicker with less feeling.

“May the Lord grant you all your hearts desires” my heart breaks.

Now the tears are rolling down hot and fast, completely soaking your silk blouse.

Wrapped in your arms you tell me I’m your beautiful baby girl

I’m 19 and gifted, being heartbroken never lasts too long.

Then why does every minute I don’t hear his voice feel like an eternity?

Every time I re-read the text that terminated us, feel like my obituary?

Okay that’s it for now! Bye! Lol.