Larger than Life: My Very Own Warrior Angel

Today was just one of those days for me... Not the good kind where you're unnecessarily jovial for no apparent reason, the other kind; where you're just a bit blue. Well I'm more than a bit blue and I'm not quite sure what I'm even doing here but I know that writing has always been the best outlet for me, I'm not much of a talker tbh so throughout today when people have been calling and texting to wish my family and I their condolences I've been at a complete loss of what to say except a measly "thank you". It's not that I don't care for condolences, I do... I think my mind is just still in a state of shock, first I heard but didn't quite understand, then I understood but didn't quite believe and now that no-one has called my phone to say "gotcha!" and the day is almost over I think that maybe it's true? But it can't be.

My grandfather can't be... gone. It's weird I still haven't been able to say it out loud, I can scream it out loud in my head but whenever I have to talk about it I'd rather say "about grandpa and stuff..." I've done my fair share of crying and wailing and asking why it had to happen this way but I'm trying to realise that although he's not physically here, nothing can touch the memories I was so so fortunate to create with him, . So this post isn't about mourning and loss, it's a mini toast to my Gramps, a celebration of a life well lived! Here's just a few of the things I will never forget about my very own Warrior Angel in Heaven (because he is way too full of energy to be just a guardian)

1. The way he loved all of his grandchildren and we loved him even more, he always taught us that family was the most important thing, second to nothing! 

2. Going to his house in Ondo almost every year for his birthday and having a 3-5 day party. No one could throw a party like my Gramps! Asun for days!

3. The way he called all of us by our first and last names every time he saw us, kind of instilling pride into us. He always said a good name was the most important thing anyone could have.

4. The way he was so proud of me for going to University of Manchester because my mum went there too and so did he. Almost every time I spoke to him he would say "Have you told them that you are third generation at Manchester yet? I'm sure not many people can claim that!" No they can't Gramps, no they can't.

5. Him getting cable tv and internet in his house so whenever we, the grand kids, came over to play we weren't bored.

6. Going on a massive family holiday to Spain with him when I was probably about 7/8, it was the most amazing villa ever. Barbados was meat to be next, but now we have Heaven instead which I'm sure is infinitely better!

7. His velvet slippers. Yup, gramps was rocking the velvet WAY before it was cool!

8. All his traditional necklaces, bejewelled walking sticks and embroided caps, dressing up was so much fun at his place!

9. His love for life... I've never met another person so exuberant and who had as much confidence as he did, so full of passion and a real lust for life and adventure. A perfect role model to me and everyone else.

As difficult as this is, it's time for me to wipe away my tears, or at least have less of them anyways. You would have never wanted it to be this way, I love you Grandpa and I won't ever stop missing you. Rest in Peace.

Grandpa, Grandma and all the cousins in 2009. Thank you for making us take another family portrait this Christmas, it's a shame I can't find it right now.