Stalker Alert!

Oh... My... Gosh… You have GOT to be kidding me!! I’m sorry but I cannot STAND it when these random postgraduate/daddy looking fellows come and try and move to babes! Like legit, what is their problem? I just had to blog about this particular one that has been happening to me lately.

So as girls, we have a 6^th sense that our male counterparts lack, we can tell when a guy is interested and usually complain about being “undressed” with peoples eyes. So get this, I’m in a jolly mood one morning, just chilling, walking to the bus stop, Frank Ocean caressing my eardrums with his voice. As some people may know I have my left tragus pierced, so I only listen to music through one ear, (I know it seems random now, but read on :)) For the sake of this post let us call this latest predator Mustapha. From about 10 – 15 meters away I could already feel his eyes trying to bore deep inside my soul (excuse the hyperboles darlings). Very pointedly and deliberately I put my left earphone in, (the piercing makes this a little uncomfortable) turn up the volume and switch from Franck Ocean to Fall Out Boy. And just to be extra cautions I stand with my back to him, this way he can’t try any eye contact. For me, all of this says “GO AWAY” “DO NOT SPEAK TO ME!” “I BITE!” I mean who doesn’t know that headphones are a “Do Not Disturb” sign? What does Mustapha do? He first tries calling to me, and then eventually he taps me, on my shoulder, multiple times, very annoyingly, to get my attention.

Annoyed and wishing the bloody bus would come already, I turn around and make a whole show of reducing the volume of my iPod, extracting the earphone from my ear and looking up. “Hello, I just saw you from there and I wanted to know your name” is what I’m greeted by. My mind is screaming; “Leave me alone!! You don’t have to speak to me, you have nothing to say to me, please leave.. ” But mummy said I must never be rude to anybody, besides I have an innate fear of crossing a babalawo one day and being ‘sworn for’ for all eternity. So I’m like “Hi, I’m Reni” and begin putting my earphones back in. but as with any of ‘these types’, he was relentless, tapping my shoulder again he proceeds to tell me his name, and a few other details which I have now blocked out, my brain needs its capacity for other things. The bus comes and surprise, surprise it is completely empty so it doesn’t matter where I sit, he’s going to sit next to me. Anyways, I’m relieved when after going on and on he asked me for my email address and not my phone number or PIN. I decided to oblige and gave it to him thinking, thank God this is over, I would just ignore emails briefly. I still got off the bus two stops early just in case he changed his mind or something.

Sadly, this story doesn’t have a happy ending! Along the same bus route again, this time I was with a friend thank the Good Lord! None other but Mustapha *long, deep sigh* this time I didn’t even notice him, he just ambushed me! Pops out of nowhere and says “Oh you didn’t reply my email, add me on facebook, I’ve been looking for you” I honestly thought I was in a nightmare like legit! Why does crap like this only happen to me?? Kmt, I just know I’m going to see him again sometime this week! Then the worst part, he was the same guy my friend was telling me about that had approached her a couple of weeks ago, which explains why she was in fits of laughter!

It’s like, does he sit at the bus stop and wait to chat up any black girl he sees and finds attractive?! I wonder how many other ‘victims’ there have been. WHY does he do this?? Surely there are other ways to get girls that make you seem less creepy. This situation really really annoys me! I mean go away! I’m sure many other girls have experienced this! The WORXT has to be those facebook inbox messages; I actually went through my inbox to find these

This delusional person sent to me:

Strawberry wrapped in chocolate clothing is what you are dear...would love to know you deeper ....i wanna put your heart in a safe place were angels sing you soul music to sleep..... God av missed everything bout you tho we never talked on phone but i sure had a nice time exchanging letters here..been so busy to check my mails......been thinking bout you for a while..pictures of you in my thots,,,in my dreams av kissed your lips a thousand times...this i tell you i mean....i want to be the 1 for you and only you..would put your heart the warmest place..i am in nigeria but no matter the distance i would love to be with you and am real....let do chat sometime..can add me on **********@yahoo.com

Another one sent:

sup, you looking cutie,i'm damn trippin for ya gurl, where ar you frm, can i get to know ya? well i'm Ola from,if u dnt mind,u can join me on my msn,its *******@yahoo.com,u can get back to me wit urs if u dnt mind sharin dat, i look forward for your forthcoming response.Cheers!!!

The first one slays me every time I read it! I know we all have equally creepy/funny messages in our inbox, please post away in the comments box! Make we laugh together.

My friend said the other day “But why aren’t they ever fine?” the answer is oh-so simple! Fine boys don’t act like that! And if they do sadly it’s 100% permissible because once I gaze at him his brown eyes tell it so! :) lol

P.S After the bus incident I've seen him 2 more times! Four days in a row is no coincidence..