How To Please Your Lady

Sorry about the hiatus people! I’ve been dying a slow and painful death in this institution of murder called university. *sigh*. But I’m backkkkk! :) :). (Assuming anyone noticed I was gone in the first place! Lol)

After having a lengthy debate with my friend about his current girlfriend I decided to try and answer the question: “Are girls really insatiable?” From an objective but ever so slightly biased point of view. According to my friend, and i must say i agree, Almost every girl I know goes on and on about how all they want is a good guy who would treat her right and take her places, the only thing girls never seem to account for is that, somewhat unfortunately, boys are human beings as well. One thing that always baffles me (and believe you me I’ve proven to be the Chief Mrs of this department in some situations) is why a girl would 9 out of 10 times pick the ‘bad boy’ that gives her minimal attention, over the sweet over-emotional boy who is constantly flooding her phone. But this discussion is for another day.

So of these 9 girls that pick the ‘bad boy’ we get a range of complaints “He never calls” “He takes too long to text back” “He’s always flirting with other girls” on and on and on driving any and everyone that would lend them an ear absolutely crazy. One would think that the problem is that we get so caught up in this princess fiasco (points finger at Walt Disney and his crew!) and spend so much time looking for a guy that’s already tailor made to our expectations that we pass up on a lot of perfectly good ‘paupers’ waiting to be turned into ‘princes’. The effort it takes to finding the perfect guy is probably more than it would take to turn one John Doe into James Dean. BUT NO! Because even the 1 girl that uses her common sense and picks the sweet guy ALWAYS finds something to complain about “He texts me too much” “He took me out to Indian when I said I wanted Pan-Asian” always always complaining! So why aren’t girls ever happy?

After some consideration, soul searching and just because I can write vast amounts of bullshit and call it my opinion J I decided that one of the problems is that boys don’t listen!! Some of my closest male friends have perfected the art of selective hearing down to the letter, I always respect girls that like them and can deal with them. How can I be on the phone with you, telling you that Indian food makes me feel sick and so on, and then you suggest we go to the Curry Mile (a mile of curry houses someplace in Manchester) for lunch? :/ Wow, some guys just don’t get it. All I ever hear is "Oh girls are over-dramatic, they always expect too much." You KNOW your girlfriend/ side chick/ p is going to get stressy if you take longer than x hours to hit her up. Or if your battery conveniently dies and you feel no need to hola at her even after you’ve seen the texts she sent while she was looking for you. I get it, some boys are just chilled, it’s never a big deal to them, life is easy breezy but then don’t make her feel like she’s being irrational about life! How many times do you need to hear “I hate it when you don’t call me back” to know it’s time to start calling back? Jheez!

Obviously there are some extreme girls who generally expect too much, text too much and blah but just because you’ve known a couple of those doesn’t mean that every single girl needs to be treated with the same aloof attitude that boys have down pat. All you got to do is squeeze her, don’t tease her, never leave her! In other words, try a little tenderness.

Deuces my darlings! OTIS SCREAM

Oh, apologies if you thought this was going to be a sexual blog *bbm cant watch*

XO