Summer Reading List: The Book Challenge

It may come as no surprise to you that I consider myself a widely read individual, well I used to anyways. Fairly recently, my self-confidence took a knock when I was thrashed mercilessly at a game of Words with Friends. Although now I have learnt that this game has little to do with vocabulary and more to do with tactic, I’m still sticking to my original plan! Which is to read more this summer.

Trying to decide what to read during my quest I turned to BBC’s Book List Challenge, they think that the average person would have only read 6 and that the average Goodreads member would have read 25. Sadly I’m an in-betweener and have only read 17 (maybe 18 seeing as I don’t remember if I’ve actually read Oliver Twist or not) of the books on this list. Shocking! I was expecting to at least get to the 20’s!

Not as an excuse, but this mainly stems from the fact that I don’t particularly fancy old English literature, i.e. from the 17^thcentury etc because I was MADE to read some of them as part of AS English Literature, and so many novels of value by esteemed authors such as the Bronte sisters and Thomas Hardy have fallen to the wayside. It’s definitely an error that needs correcting and what better time to do it than in this summer that still stretches so long before me! After much deliberation I present you, my summer reading list 2012! (It doesn't come solely from the BBC Booklist)

1.     Things Fall Apart- Chinua Achebe

2.     The Catcher in the Rye- J.D. Balinger

3.     Lolita- Vladmir Nabokov

4.     Gone with the Wind- Margaret Mitchell

5.     Wuthering Heights- Charlotte Bronte

6.     Sense and Sensibility- Jane Austen

7.     Persuasion- Jane Austen

8.     The Gods Are Not to Blame- Ola Rotimi

9.     Letter to My Daughter- Maya Angelou

1.    The Thing Around Your Neck- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

And anything else that may fall into my open palms. Stop judging me! I know there are some things on here that I should have read by now but “the lizard that jumped from the high Iroko tree to the ground said he would praise himself if no one else did” (Chinua Achebe, Things Fall Apart)

Side note: I started reading it and the Igbo proverbs in it literally give me life! I know they are not meant to be funny but they have me in stitches every time! Thanks to none other than AfMag!

I’m so excited to start! Wonder how many I’d actually get through before university comes and takes all my free time away again!

How many books off this list, BBC Book List Challenge, have you guys read? Share your numbers with me in the comment box, (this is a safe place, there would be no judging. I hope) and if like me you've read under 25 then join me on my little challenge, and let's show the Goodreads members how it's done! It would be fun!

Staying Single: Part 1- I Will Be Single! Will I?

Staying Single

The experiment begins, basically for those of you who missed the announcement in the last post. I’ve decided to include a series in my blog called Staying Single. It is scheduled to come out every Sunday and Wednesday for a little while and is about a girl, Kemi and her adventures in London as she tries to stay single. This first one is kind of long because it’s the intro, but enjoy!

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After breaking up with her boyfriend of 2 years, Kemi decided enough is enough. No more guys for her, no more celebrating anniversaries with idiots who always forgot the date or buying birthday presents for undeserving douche bags or having candle lit dinners with lying morons. She was done! No more dating until she was 24 years old, at which point God would deliver her ready-made husband whom she would date for another 2 to 3 years before getting married and she would then have beautiful babies and live in eternal bliss till she died!

Yup, she had it all figured out. All she had to do was avoid boys for the next 4 years and life would sort itself out. But realistically, she knew she couldn’t avoid boys forever, what about Sola?? Sweet and charming Sola, he had been there for her all through the tumultuous break up with The Ex, consoling her whenever she felt down, holding her as she cried herself to sleep in her 1 bedroom apartment in London’s West End. Sola had become her best friend, or so she thought anyways, until one fine summer’s day 2 months after the break up with The Ex, he decided to ruin everything. By BBM, how very tasteful.

Sola: Hey babe, did you have fun last night? What’re you up to today?

Kemi: Nothing much hon, just having a lazy Sunday. Yeaa it was alright, did you?

Sola: Yea it was good, I’m happy you went out even though The Ex was there and that dress on you **wink**

LOL! If only he knew I had spent the whole night going between my spot on the dance floor and his table just so he would notice me in my booty shorts and immediately realise the error of his ways. Sadly that never happened.

Kemi: Haha, you’re not serious. Come over for brunch?

Sola: Yea sure, but there’s something I have to say first and then if you still want to see me then I’d be right over

Kemi: Ummmmm, okay! You’re scaring me

Sola: I think that I want you to be my girlfriend, I know you may say it’s too soon and you’re still getting over your last break up but I’m pretty sure I’m in love with you. I don’t mind if you tell me to wait, I’d wait for a while. I just want to know, do you or can you ever feel the same way about me?

Options, Delete Contact. Are you sure you want to delete contact? No. SH*T. What is the meaning of all this iranu l’aro kutu kutu?! (What is the meaning of this nonsense so early in the morning?!)

That was how Sola single-handedly tried to destroy the friendship she thought they shared and tried to turn it into something else. Okay, time to come up with a plan, and quick! The stupid D on the tick had turned to an R. Oh how she hated this darn phone!

Kemi: So sorry boo, my mum just called on Skype, I’d hit you up as soon as I’m done.

Now that should do the trick and buy her at least 20 minutes. Hurriedly she dials Remy’s number. They had been friends for over 10 years now and Remy would know how to handle this situation, she always had a head for dealing with boys who seemed to be constantly falling in love with her.

Remy: Babe, it’s 10.30 a.m.! You better be stuck under a rock in Abu Dhabi to be calling me at this ungodly hour

Ahh Remy, always the drama queen. People always wondered how the two got on so well and for the most part, it remained a mystery.

Kemi: Sola asked me to marry him. That should wake her right up, silly girl

Remy: Wha-when-who-hooooooow?!?!?!

Kemi: Fine, I’m joking but I need your help! He just asked me to be his girlfriend!

Remy: Well do you want to?

Kemi: Well no, but how am I supposed to tell him?? He’s so sweet to me all the time and I really don’t want to lose him as a friend L

Remy: Uh, see you. Better start finding a way. Please I’m going back to bed, call me if you get arrested or something.

“Well she’s certainly helpful and chirpy in the mornings” Kemi thought, making a mental note to get her friend back soon.

Now she was forced to think up a legit response all on her own. You see the thing is, it’s not that she didn’t like Sola, he is actually the sweetest sweet talker known to man. One of those boys that spun metaphors for days when rapping and could then write a girl some poetry bound to make him seem like the 21^st century Keats. But she had promised herself, no boys till she was 24! Or was it 22? Who even remembers? Suddenly her phone rings, it is Remy. What does this unhelpful rascal want now??

Remy: **laughing** Omg! I just heard what you said, Sola wants you to be his babe???? **still laughing**

Kemi: No shit Sherlock. I don’t see how this is funny, if you’re not ready to be helpful then please allow me. Gosh, this Remy really had no tact sometimes.

Remy: No it’s just that, he told me last night at Juju that he was going to ask you but I thought he was just drunk and acting the fool.

Kemi: Yea okay, so what do I do now??

Remy: I don’t know oh, just let him down easy sha, he actually really likes you and he’s a good guy.

What now, was I supposed to do with this new information?? It’s bad enough that Remy already knew, but now she’s on his side?! Cursed be the ground she walks on! Time to contact Sola, too much time was passing by. She picks up her stupid blackberry and dials his number. He picks up before even half a ring. Poor guy.

Kemi: Hey, can you meet me at Café Rouge for half 12? I think we have some stuff to talk about.

Sola: Just forget I said anything, I think I’m still drunk from last night.

Kemi: I’m sure you are boo Okay that’s cool. Still, Café Rouge? Just to chill.

Sola: Yea sure.

Looking at the clock she realised she had exactly an hour and a half to get ready and be there, Who does this to themselves? She frantically hops towards the shower, but before she makes it her phone rings again. Thinking it is be Remy, calling back to redeem herself and be a good friend she hurries back to her phone.

The caller I.D. flashes: The Ex. Oh for the love of man!

PSA: Staying Single

Staying Single

ATTENTION: This Sunday (29th July 2012), I'm starting a series on the blog. It's called Staying Single and is about a girl called Kemi and her quest to remain single after a bad break-up. It's meant to be pretty light-hearted, witty and sometimes funny so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've loved writing it! For now I'm thinking of releasing it on Wednesday's and Sunday's till I'm done but this might change.


Also, I would really appreciate it if you guys that frequent my blog would follow so that you dont miss a moment of this series. And even if you don't come here that often, still follow it, you just might love it! You can do this via email on the right hand side of this page in the sidebar. Also feel free to leave comments, criticism and whatever else you may whenever you feel like. As always, I'd like to hear from you! Thank you my lovelies.

Here are some excerpts from the series in no particular order:

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Getting downstairs there is an array of topless boys and scantily clad girls but mostly topless boys, or that’s what Kemi sees anyways. Today is going to be a great day. She wonders of to find the Suitor whom she knows has arrived and finds him seated in a circle with his usual posse and a few extras. Of course Remy has found Jide and is sitting comfortably on his lap, she marks her territory so well. When he sees her he picks her up and spins her around playfully and kisses her forehead.

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She had had enough of the lying scumbag anyways, forget the electrifying kisses and the raging butterflies, it was actually time to move on with life. Maintaining her dignity and leaving The Slut waving her arms in the air like the crazy person she is, Kemi pushes her way past the crowd and out to the balcony for some fresh air. Where the hell is Remy anyways?? But she’s not sure she even wants to find out.

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Party ke?? Yes there was music in the background and sure there were some other people there but they were certain what they had just walked into was NOT a party. Through the hallway they could see some girls doing shots and giggling loudly at whatever was so funny and they could see some guys, playing FIFA and puffing and passing a blunt around the room

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Yayy, I'm excited! See you all on Sunday!

Bisous bisous xx

Graduation Season: Appreciating the Good Friends

As we can all tell, it’s graduation season, how happy I am to be amongst the privileged many that get to throw their hats up into the sun, hoping for a bright future J. In case you didn’t know, I recently graduated from the University of Manchester, BEng (Hons) in Chemical Engineering. Whooop!

One other thing that is commonplace in graduation season is various lunches, dinners and other events to celebrate. And as the universe has been trying wickedly to expand my waistline I can say that I am happy I have been to the last of those for now! (time to hit that gym baby!) At one of said dinners, I was asked to give a short speech about a very dear friend of mine. It was awkward sha I can’t lie! I don’t like speaking in public but if I am to be Queen of Sparta I see no other way to get around this, so I took this as a practice run. Thinking about what to say during the dinner made me reflect on my friendship with her and think of all the years I’ve known her. Truth be told it gave me a better understanding of the word friendship, both through the good times and the bad times we’ve managed to somehow still be here today as good friends and that made me glow with pride (okay, not quite glow, but what’s life without a little exaggeration?). We sometimes spend every day with friends, or speak to them every day but we rarely ever take time out to let them know that they mean everything to us and we appreciate them.

I am writing this post grateful that the god Lord has deemed it fit to bless me with some of the best friends a girl could ever asked for and I just want to let you all know, both my close friends and my not so close ones, that I appreciate you all! Now go on out there and tell somebody that you love them!

Side note: For anyone that went to the Watch the Throne concerts, through out writing this post I kept thinking of Kanye’s loooong performance of Runaway and him going on forever about telling someone out there that you love them! Some really soppy ish! LMAO

Love,
Moi

In Love With Love

Hi mi darlings,

I apologise for the constant change of my blogs look, I get bored relatively easily and it seems I’ve fallen out of love with my last layout, though I may yet return to it. All my posts are still on here, the archive list is still on the right hand side, you can also now easily share my posts via Facebook or twitter if you please and there’s a handy new “follow by email” tab for people who don’t have Google accounts. So please follow and share away!

Speaking of being bored and falling out of love, why is it that some people fall in and out of love so fast they make the cars on the German Autobahn look like snails?? It sometimes amazes me how quickly some people move on, and it’s always the ones that seem like they are the most in love that never cease to surprise me! Going through their Facebook timeline you can spot a serial dater from miles away

15 June 2012: I love my baby so much, thank you Segun for making me feel all brand new.

1 February 2012: Wow! I just got flowers from the most amazing boyfriend in the world! Tomiwa it’s you and I together forever!

31 November 2011: #nowplaying Love Story- Taylor Swift. This album perfectly describes how I feel about Seun, the story of our love!

Okay fine, maybe no one writes status’ that corny on facebook (I hope) but still it’s annoying! People need to realise that there’s nothing wrong with being single. It’s not a sickness or a disease. I don’t believe I’m really about to quote this boy but as Afam said in his blog post Application of Economics: Smashed up hearts hung out to dry,you keep leaving a piece of yourself with the last person so much so that you get to a point where you’re no more than a shadow of your old self.

I’m not saying that life should always be so serious and you need to become a social recluse to get over someone. On the contrary, go out there, have the most fun you’ve had in your life but not because you know that he/she is going to see your pictures on Facebook and you think it would make them want you back. You do it because you are you and you love having a good time!

One might argue that people who move on so quickly were never really “in love” with the person in the first place. I put “in love” in quotes because I am yet to define what that common phrase actually means. Personally I think that’s only half the problem, the problem is that some people are so in love WITH LOVE that they would do anything to keep that feeling. Having someone to daydream about and to call right before you close your eyes to go to bed. All na sentiment! Which is why when the going gets tough they give up, because as far as they know, love is not meant to be like that. It’s meant to be like in the movies where the couple fights for 1 week and then the guy comes back on his shiny white horse, (topless of course, how else would you see his abs of steel??) bearing gifts of fine wine and perfumes and getting ready to wine and dine the girl back into falling “in love” with him (again, my imagination comes out to play, insufferable I tell you).

People that know me may think of me as a serial dater and I’d be honest, at some point I was and I didn’t think of it as a problem until kind of recently. I made that conscious decision not to date the next guy that told me he liked my voice (dead!) I was single for a few months and I loved it. We need to learn to love ourselves first, so that we can begin to even think of loving someone else. Relying on someone else for assurance that you are worth it and you are special is like praying that it wouldn’t rain in Manchester for 2 weeks. It never happens, and it’s is never worth it, better learn to carry that umbrella friend!

Identify Yourselves: Samantha Vs. Carrie

Samantha’s are extroverts and would walk straight up to the object of their desire and let them know their intentions.

Carrie’s are a bit shyer; they could walk up to the guy but would hardly go past a basic hi-hi conversation

Samantha’s sleep around and get off with different guys because they want to and they can

Carrie’s do it because their friends are doing it

Samantha’s take the boys to her house

Carrie’s try and find a nice romantic hotel last minute and would sometimes settle for the guy’s house, rarely hers.

Samantha’s kick the guy out of bed at the first sight of daylight with money for a coffee on the way home

Carrie’s get up and put on his shirt while making him an omelette for breakfast.

Samantha’s never even got the guys phone number; in fact she doesn’t remember his name!

Carrie’s store their numbers in the guys phone and tell him to call her when he gets home.

Samantha’s can get with the same guy on another random night or a different guy every few nights.

Carrie’s feel a sense of attachment to their latest partners and try to wait as long as possible before they go searching for someone new.

You can never tie a Samantha down, unless she let’s you.

Carrie’s are all too willing to become your girlfriend; if you give her the chance she’d be meeting your mum before the holidays run out.

Samantha’s know they are sexy and make sure that everyone else in the room knows it too.

Carrie’s are just as sexy but more likely to wait to be noticed.

Samantha’s aren’t afraid of a little experimentation.

Carrie’s prefer the more PG things of life.

Samantha’s are go-getters all the way.

Carrie’s like to be chased and wooed.

Although let’s remember, both Samantha’s and Carrie’s can get hurt, sadly no one is immune to that. So decide for yourselves ladies, are you a Samantha or a Carrie? Be honest! What do you think of my list? Did I miss anything major out? Share your thoughts in the comment box J

For The Love of a Good Guy

As a girl I sometimes have to wonder if some life experiences leave us so scarred that we might be missing out on a potentially good thing because of past experiences. I’m pretty sure every one has been hurt, cheated on or lied to by someone they care about before but that’s not what I’m talking about, not in particular anyways. Take for instance my friend, let’s call her CDK, 21 year-old beauty, smart, good body! She never takes any guy she meets in a club seriously because of some stuff that went down a while back. I'm not saying that most of these guys are meant to be taken seriously but occasionally there might be a diamond in the rough!

So a couple of nights in a week we decide to head out to the clubs, get a little wasted and just generally have a good time. Cute guy comes up to her, let’s call him Jay, and they start talking (my role in the club is solely as wing girl to bail her out if she needs it, you should know that I’m in a committed relationship). So anyways, she and the guy get to dancing and chatting, I go and find some other friends to attach myself too while I wait for any signs from her to tell me she’s good or requires bailing out. Turns out he’s not a creep and they keep at it the whole night, at the end of it all they exchange numbers. CDK comes home all giddy because they’re meant to be meeting up sometime in the week to go to the movies/drinks/dinner.

The week comes and they’ve been chatting, he’s really spitting his A-game (yes, I have read at least 60% of all their conversation) so they day for the movies finally arrives and what do you know, home boy is sort of busy, he promises to make it up to CDK if she comes over to his later that evening, say 10 p.m. she declines and says she’d rather reschedule. Being the sweet/perfect guy that he is he agrees. Needless to say, the time for the next date comes around and he has another reason not to meet up but for her to come over (Coursework, Athletics club, his fish died etc.) Anyways, this goes on for a couple of weeks till my poor naïve girlfriend realises that this boy only has one agenda. My question to you guys right now? Why try so hard! Surely there are a good number of other girls out there just waiting to arrive at your doorstep when you call them. That illusion of ‘the chase’ that guys like so much, why does it never wear off? This boy Jay kept trying all sorts of tricks and scandalous lines just to get CDK to come over to his unaccompanied for months on end! (We girlies have to stick together when entering the lions’ den).

Boys need to realise that not all girls are the same, especially as you’re not trying to take her out once or twice to show her a good time! That’s entirely different, you can woo her with the charm I suppose. But when you’re trying to make a girl you just met your “chill at home chick” then I’m a bit lost. The same way I blame Eve every month when her curses are manifested in my life is the same way I blame the sleazy girls of my generation. I’m not saying don’t have a good time; in fact have a great time! But you could at least try and front for like I don’t know, 2 hours before serving yourself on a silver platter. Also can I just point out that there’s a MASSIVE difference between the girl that sleeps around like a dude no strings attached (All hail Sex and the City’s Samantha Jones) and those that try and sleep around but always end up getting attached (Hi Carrie!). be true to yourself, if you’re a Carrie don’t try and act like Samantha, you end up getting hurt and also make guys think that all girls have a Samantha in them, there’s nothing wrong with being a Carrie!

Guys, if you’ve been trying to get a girl to be your chill at home chick and she’s never been on it and still not on it after 3 months then please respect yourself and fall back. You just end up looking overly thirsty to the girl and let’s not forget all of her posse that she has been telling about every single stage of your ‘relationship’. Girls, as far as I am concerned there is no reason to feel pressured into going to a boy’s house when it’s dark outside! As a child of the light, stay strong and keep saying no or ignoring those phone calls because once you get to his crib, some guys have the power to talk your panties off and make you think it was all your idea!

The Dressing Maketh A Man

Some clothes should not be made above a certain size! Like seriously, the amount of nonsense I’ve seen in this my short lifetime is appalling. Some might think that this post applies mainly to the females but not to worry, I have a male pet peeve or two to address!

Now don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being plus sized (excluding those whose current waistlines are a hazard to their general health, y’all need to hop on that treadmill ASAP!). The problem is when these plus sized people decide to wear certain clothes. Take for example, the infamous American Apparel disco shorts.

 Clearly this ½ yard piece of clothing was made for some size 2 – 8 girlies in say California (i.e U.S. sizes 0 – 4) yet you see some size 16+ (U.S 12+) ladies trying to squeeze in all sorts of flesh into the spandex material, the result? Unsightly rolls, flabs, mountains, valleys, dips and turns bursting out from all over the shorts, it is highly inappropriate for some ladies to step outside the comfort of their homes in such attires! You know them looks you’ve been getting? That’s not envy baby girl, that’s plain disgust! Check yourself before you wreck yourself, because if those pants split on the dance floor it’s not going to be cute!

Now don’t get me wrong, there are some bigger than average girls that rock certain outfits and do it with so much swag because she knows, that you know, that she’s fly as hell! She might be big but those thighs are nice and toned, the stomach is almost flat as an ironing board and you know her make up doesn’t leave her looking like Heath Ledger when he played the Joker. There’s a way to be sexy without wearing ridiculously small and revealing things because you’re trying to follow fashion, if your body type doesn’t allow it then please leave it!

Yes, body type is a huge factor where dressing is concerned, for instance, you might be skinny as hell and still not have a flat belly, looking like some kwashiorkor child from the Niger Delta, so yea you might be slim enough to work those American Apparel shorts but there should be no reason for you to step outside your house in a crop top that you intend to wear fully exposing your torso. Someone on twitter a while back made quite a good rule of thumb and though I don’t agree 100% it’s simple and effective “If you’re standing straight and you can’t see your vag when you look down then please allow those crop tops.” The only exceptions to this rule are girls who are heavily endowed in front. Spread the word people; let the world be cured of these misdemeanours!

Oh and of course I saved something for the guys, how could I leave you out J my number one pet peeve when it comes to the dress sense male species (and trust me I have many) is when you see these boys wearing some type of skinny jeans, I’m not talking slim fit or just skinny, I mean those SUPER skinny ones, you know the kinds that Pete Wentz used to wear when he was in Fall Out Boy? Those ones. And then you see boys with asses bigger than mine trying to fit all that and whatever else they might be packing into these super tight jeans! It just looks uncomfortable, especially when they decide to sag them! LE WORST! If you’re not as skinny as your jeans then please refrain!

*sigh* sorry I just had to let that all out, I’ve seen too much nonsense in the club!

Thanks for reading beautiful people

xxx

Stolen Suitcase!!

My suitcase got stolen. Yes, you read that right my suitcase got stolen. There is no other explanation for its unexplained disappearance. One faithful evening I was commuting from London to Manchester, on arrival at Manchester I realised that my baggage was gone. If you’ve ever watched the movie Flight Plan then you know exactly how I felt, I was so sure that I had embarked on this journey with a suitcase and there I was running helter skelter from carriage to carriage trying to locate this bag. After all of this I had to report the missing bag to a number of people, some woman asked me to estimate how much everything in the bag was worth, like that would help them bring it in any faster! Anyways, I eventually got my bag back, turns out some woman had taken it by mistake and left hers on the train. After informing various friends that my bag had been recovered fully intact and thanking God, I was warned several times to always put my luggage where I can see it or to at least check it from time to time to make sure it is still there.

I write this post as I’m sitting on the train on the return leg of my journey. Again, my suitcase is in an end carriage that I can’t see from my seat. I wonder if it would still be there when I arrive in London. LOL.

Forever Stubborn :)

My Latest Nemesis: A game with Friends

My grandparents are such a cute couple! You know, the kind that has grown together in love and what not, 50 years is a long time. Anyways this post isn’t really about them. It’s about Scrabble. You see, one of the things that my grandparents do together whenever they are on holiday and just chilling is play Scrabble. They have been doing this for years and even on holidays like Good Friday, all their friends come round, eat and drink and then end the evening in a competitive game of Scrabble while trading stories of life. I’ve played against my Grandma a few times but with her knowledge of vocabulary, especially Scrabble’s two letter words, she defeats me every time!

One would think that this means that I play a mean game of Scrabble having after all, learnt from the best. I even used to think I was a decent player. All of this changed when I met Afam! Just recently, I embarked on a game of  “Words with Friends” against my dearest Afam. Make no mistake, Afam is no friend when he plays this game and would soon to become my nemesis. Can I just say to those who might be thinking of challenging him in this game, tread carefully! From 64 point bangers to two letter words that when placed in the right squares bring in a massive 30 points. I have met a range of skilled players but never has any of them had an almost 200 points lead on me! My self-confidence is shattered! Dead, dead and dead again!

After this I decided that I needed to start reading more! The last time I read a novel was in June! Horrifying! Trust me, I know. But in an attempt to increase my vocabulary, I shall be browsing the shelves of Waterstones to find my summer reads. I will be posting my list as I compile it. Recommendations are much appreciated. I have decided to make it one of my summer goals to beat Afam in a game of “Words with Friends”.

Side note: The novel that I did read in June is called “The Memory of Love” by Sierra Leone-an (help here?) woman, Aminatta Forna. It is the most incredible story I’ve read this year! Set in post war S.L. It is a definite must read! I was going to include a whole spoiler section but the more weak-willed of you wouldn’t be able to resist and then you might not read the book, which would be doing yourself a disservice!

Ta ta for now!

Morenike xx

My Adventures in London Town

So I randomly have those days where I literally want to blog till my mind is emptied. Sometimes I look at blogging as a way of out pouring everything from my otherwise completely saturated mind on to paper or rather screen, whatever you want to call it and I just yap yap yap away until im satisfied! I guess what im trying to say is get ready to read some of the things that go on in the inner crevices of my mind. Whoopty Doo!

So the other day, I was on my way to Upton Park to go and get my hair done at some Jamaican woman's’ shop. Had to get up super early, which is always a struggle and a half and enter the stupid rush hour that the City of London is so infamous for. It was during this trip that I had a revelation! Well I suppose it’s not really a revelation if I’ve pretty much always known but yea. I can NOT live and work in London! It is just ridiculous!

The amount of people that pack themselves on to the London Underground every single morning during rush hour is ridiculous! From the lowly interns, to the ones that look like they own their own business in London Bridge, EVERYONE becomes united in their daily commute. And did I mention the heat?? It is beyond atrocious! How am I supposed to get to work feeling fresh and alert, if just 10 minutes before, I was packed tighter than sardines in a little carriage full of other hot sweaty people? It’s almost repulsive even! I understand all the perks of the underground trust me, it’s faster, it’s convenient, you don’t need to sit in hours of traffic etc. But I had to ask myself, is it EVER that deep?

Sadly, the answer is no! Not for me anyways, I’m not sure I can give up the life I have envisioned for myself in naij, rolling around in a car in and things. Even in traffic sef I don’t mind, as long as there’s A.C. I’d buy plantain chips from those boys and listen to Weezy baby (Wizkid btw, not Wayne).  Meanwhile before someone pounces, yes I know that this sounds spoilt and brattish and assuming I lived in London, perhaps I too will join those commuters (as if!) but guess what? It’s my opinion, not yours J

Anyways, the salon! It is the funniest place I’ve been too in a long while! After arriving there at 9.10 am, the rollers of the shop were still down, yet there was already a woman waiting, she hustled to secure her spot as number 1, arriving at a spectacular 8.30 a.m. luckily for me, I’m second. Anyways people keep pouring in till the doors are opened at about 9.45. At 10.30, customer number 4 arrives. She’s some crazy woman with her jacked up weave. Her conversation is as follows

Enters Crazy Lady

Crazy Lady: Please oh! I have a flight to catch by 3 and I have soo mant things to do today, I really need to do my hair quickly so I can leave here on time

                                  ***all customers and hairdressers stop and stare***

1^st Hairdresser: Okay aunty, please sit down, you will be after these people (points to all those waiting)

Crazy Lady: But where is Hawa? She knows me, I am her customer.

Let it be known now that Hawa is one of those boisterous Jamaican women that you can’t rush, or even attempt to fight with.

Customer 1: Yes, I am her customer 2 and I have been here since 8.30 and there are still people before you, if you wanted to be first you would have been here since!

Crazy Lady: Hmn, all I know is I must leave here by 1

Laughter ensues all around, as a black female you should know that going to the salon is a whole day fiasco! Minimum of 4 hours, so be prepared! This woman had very little chance of leaving before 4 p.m.

2^nd Hairdresser: Ahh, Aunty that one is not possible oh. But let us try sha.

30 minutes later, they have just started doing my cornrows, bearing in mind that I am number 2. Meanwhile in these 30 minutes she complained incessantly to customers 1 and 3, customer 3 is busy consoling her while explaining that she cannot come and ‘chance’ anyone, while customer 1 is slowly getting the truth about this flight at 3 p.m. surely the woman should be headed to the airport by now not so? Meanwhile, I was busy playing Temple Run and slightly eavesdropping to pass away the time.

Crazy Lady: Please I hate sitting here doing nothing, I’m going to go and come back. You people should keep my place oh!

(gossiping and laughter at her foolish ways after she had left)

11.30 a.m. Hawa the main hairdresser finally arrives, she is told of the tale and says in her Jamo accent “Don maind dat crazy gyal, she been calling ma phone al marning. I get other tins to do ya know.”

Unfortunately I have no idea whether she ever came back or not as I carried on with my life and was out of the salon at 2 p.m. I really wonder if she ever fixed her hair AND made that flight. Oh well

Adios!

“With This Ring I Thee Promise”- The Promise Ring Paradigm

I would never forget the look on my mother’s face and the confusion in mine when she sent me to buy my brother a gift for his (female) school friend whose birthday it was. Jewellery was the suggested present so I popped into Accesorize, looked around found this gorgeous ring, and bought it. On presenting it to my mother she went into swift Yoruba, roughly translating to “Ahh, Morenike, don’t you know any better? A boy cannot give a girl a ring lest he plans on proposing to her with said ring.”

Now truth be told, this came as news to me. It’s just like any other piece of jewellery as long as both parties are sure that the relationship is platonic no? Well apparently not. Which brings me to the topic of this blogpost, the much coveted promise ring. In essence, a promise ring, as made famous by Tiffany Evan’s and Ciara, is more or less a pre-engagement ring where the guy promises not to lie, cheat, hurt and/or whatever other bad things guys sometimes do to girls. Sweet huh? I know right.

My only beef with promise rings is when the guy in question is almost certainly should not be dashing out rings to anyone **cough** Chris Brown & Karrueche **cough**

As far as I’m concerned he still has eyes for Rihanna, especially if she was truly the cause for him and Drake’s recent blow up, but let’s allow that discussion for now. Neanderthals who do it just because they think it’s ‘cool’ need not degrade the value of the promise ring. I like to think of it as one of the highest forms of flattery before marriage but there I go, romanticising everything, I really do need to get out of my head sometimes. Anwyays, as you were.

Bisous xx