The Relationship Conundrum

So in the last few days there has been a lot of talk about weddings for some reason. My cousins cousin is getting married soon, I randomly joined my friend in the search for a suitable wedding gift (Did you know you can but TWO champagne flutes for over £100??), I was looking at engagement rings on Tiffany’s (as you do, I quite fancy the one below) etc etc.

The long and short is that weddings have been on my mind for some time now, in particular though, how long is too long for you to date whoever you decide to enter marital coupledom and bliss with?? I realise there are a couple of discrepancies with this question for instance, how are you sure that the person you’re dating now is going to end up being your one and only?  But let’s ignore all that for now shall we?

So take me for example, 20-year-old Nigerian girl, first daughter and first granddaughter in my family on both sides. Every single time we are at a family function relating to my parents or grandparents this prayer never fails to rear it’s head “May you see your children’s children’s children.” Complete with a loud and resounding “AMEEEEEN!” I realise that the prayer pertains more to good health, long life and prosperity but then you know you have those annoying cousins and aunties that come and pinch your arm like ‘You’re next!”

Sorry I went slightly of course there, so what was I saying? Yes me, a 20-something year old Nigerian girl, society expects that in the next 6-8 years I should be happily married and expecting the birth of my first child. This in itself is not a problem at all; you grow up with certain things and come to expect it for yourself as well. The problem is this, what if I meet my future husband right now and start dating him, then what? We date for 7 years before we get married??? 7 years is a LONG TIME! Especially in your twenties when you’re at the prime of your life, forget what all those newly 40 year olds talking about “Life begins at 40”, that one is mid-life crisis.

So what then is the solution? Do you acknowledge the existence of your future spouse and then set them free for 3-4 years hoping that they come back to you at 24 so that you can date for only 3 years before marriage? Because giiiiiirl, that boy might be long gone! My friend came up with a (brilliant?) solution; have an open relationship, so that both parties can do as they please! (This one get comma, but that’s for another blogpost). I guess the whole point of this post is that it led me to thinking, as a girl who had her first “boyfriend” at 14, what is the point of dating seriously and exclusively from such a young age?? Life is meant to be fun in your twenties!

P.S: I am not implying that I am against relationships oh! Neither am I supporting open relationships! All those bad bele people outside take note.

Loves ya!