So I haven’t blogged in some time, a really long time actually.. I can’t believe we’re already in April and I haven’t even wished any readers a happy new year! (gosh time flies.) Anyways, I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m back, sadly I’m still in the institute of insanity! But just for today and maybe tomorrow and the day after, I’m here :).
Albeit randomly, tonight I started thinking about how different life would be if we always followed our heads, if everyone always did the ‘reasonable’ and ‘sensible’ thing. Do you ever wonder how different your life would be or would have been if you hadn’t made the decisions you do everyday? Like if I decided to go to university in L'boro instead of Manchester, would I still be friends with some people? Would I be closer to others? Would I have even ever met some people?
It’s always about the head versus the heart for me. No matter how many times I’ve had to make difficult decisions in my lifetime, and my friends would tell you I usually find every decision difficult (I’m working on this, I promise). I always wage an internal war with myself on the pros and cons, trying to be logical using only cold hard facts to draw conclusions and then I sit there, knowing fully well what the logical answer is but still, my mind is not at peace. The logical answer or explanation is always easier to make and in some cases it is the right decision.
What happens when it’s not though?
What happens when logic fails us and things still go haywire even though we had covered all bases?
Sometimes human beings are so tightly wound that they don’t allow their hearts to feel or don’t trust themselves enough to follow their hearts. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying that the world should become a place full of hedonistic hippies just doing whatever pleases them at whatever time, no one is saying you should be a slave to your emotions, we all have brains for a reason. (Although, some people act like they have nothing but air in between their ears, but each to their own). If we trust in our hearts and in past experiences or advice from GOOD, RESPECTABLE friends then how wrong can we go? And even if we do go wrong, at least we can say we made the decision that we thought was best for us, not one based on social protocol or fear of being stigmatised.
Everyone has been there before, maybe in a dark period of our lives or even daily, completely conflicted in our minds not knowing whether to go left or right. Whenever I find myself in these situations of being completely disheartened I think of my mother, always encouraging me to pray and trust completely in the Lord. A particular scripture comes to mind, Psalm 46 vs 10 “Be still and know that I am God.” And as simple as that sentence is, it carries so much weight and I literally have to stand still and allow the world to pass me by, so that I can acknowledge that my Saviour who died for my sins is still in my presence and He is God. The right answer usually comes shortly after. We must be still, and allow God to work the miraculous wonders he has written for us.
*sigh* I think I’m back. I’ve missed this.
Lots of love and happy new year,
Morenike
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